For many years I used to avoid being photographed—mainly because I thought I never looked good in photos. As I got older and had my son, I eschewed photos of him as well, decorating my office and personal spaces with things that he created as opposed to pictures of him.
That has changed over the past couple of years. My second child proved to be pretty photogenic, and coupled with a new DSLR, meant lots of pictures. (You don't believe me? Check them out here.) In addition I also learned a few tricks about being a subject of photography that eased my concerns.
But in the past couple of months, two separate group photos including myself have been shared by others. Both of them were put up on Facebook, and both represent pictures from a young and eager time. My wife marveled at how much I looked like my 18 year old. And I remember both pictures being taken, a year or so apart.
I remember being young and thinking I'd never grow up. Despite having the credentials of being an adult I felt I was going to always be a child—never strong or smart or capable enough to be a true grownup. It didn't matter that I could wear a tie or vote—I just always felt like I was about 15.
So my young self stares into the camera and the shutter clicked. I don't know who I was looking at or what I was thinking, but now I realize that it was me that I was staring at. I was looking through time to my future self. I just didn't know it then.
I can't name all the people in both pictures-my memory is too hazy. In the picture taken at Vershire I know of at least two people who are no longer with us. But they're not the only ones. I know that the skinny kid with shaggy blond hair I used to be isn't around anymore. That kid died when I had to do mundane things like rent apartments, buy health insurance and have children of my own.
Now I find myself staring at the past. I weep for the loss of my dreams, seeming unaware of what replaced them. And for the first time in my life I am in fear of a ghost.
Pictures viewable after the jump ...
#26 and #32 This is the stuff the media needs to show! Real men and women with good hearts trinyg to do good for people they don't even know and real deaths. Don't hide the good and for god's sake don't hide the deaths! Our soldiers and our allies soldiers deserve so much more respect than they are getting!
Posted by: Adriana | May 11, 2012 at 10:14 PM
Thank You to all the men and women who serve for their country. It brngis a tear to my eye every time I see a soldier in uniform, knowing that they are keeping us safe and free. Thank You and God Bless every one of them!
Posted by: hanane | July 24, 2012 at 02:07 AM
I could be wrong, but it looks less like a humanitarian eoffrt than it does a nice recreation of a strike zone. One probably involving both infantry and air but maybe I play too many video games.
Posted by: Shehzad | July 24, 2012 at 02:49 AM