I decided to go hunting one
day, so I got my gun and went into the woods. After stalking around, I saw a
magnificent deer, and I fired my rifle. And that’s how I shot G-d.
When I went up to the
animal, He was oozing blood onto the frozen ground. He lifted His antlered head
and spoke: “You have shot G-d. Now, as I lay here, I will now become you and
you will become G-d. Then the deer
died.
I went home, and didn’t feel
any different. I woke up the next morning, and began to face the day with all
of the new powers that should be mind because I was now G-d.
I tried first to use my
powers to make coffee … but found that they failed me there, and my wife made
the pot instead. I thought I would try my powers by speeding down the highway,
but found that that the powers of G-d wouldn’t prevent me from getting a
traffic ticket from a righteous cop. I went to the bank, but found that the
powers of G-d were unable to add funds I had not earned into my account.
I then saw a sick young boy
begging for change on the street corner. He was dressed poorly for the weather,
and his face looked gaunt from hunger. As I watched him, my heart began to
grasp his plight. The weight of his sorrow weighed heavy, and I wept for his
plight.
I then took the young boy to
the store, where I bought him warm clothes and shoes. I took him to the doctor,
where he was able to get medicine for his malaise. I took him to the finest restaurant
in town, and fed him a mighty dinner.
As dessert came, the boy
smiled at me and said, “Now you know what it’s like to be G-d.”
