Gratuitous Dread Presence

A Landmark

Near my home there is a bridge that allows a highway to cross over a quiet street. Next to the bridge, there is a cement marker that was used as a reference point to survey the highway. It’s old and rotting—part of the concrete had crumbled away, allowing the iron reinforcement bars inside to rust.

Several years after the highway was built, some one made a discovery: it seems that this marker wasn’t in the right place. Because of this, the highway wasn’t in the right place. People became upset, and a great meeting was held to discuss the consequences of the misplaced marker.

When the highway was built, many homes and businesses were displaced. Newspapers were filled with pictures of people recently displaced, and the text of the stories described their sense of hopelessness because of their enforced loss. These people came to the meeting and argued that the highway needed to be moved, and their homes and businesses should be restored.

People who lived on what was supposed to be the route argued that the highway should remain where it is. There was no sense, they said, in tearing down their homes so that the homes of those wrongly displaced could be rebuilt. They had seen the pictures and read the stories; they wanted to remain in their homes next to the highway.

From above, G-d looked down, and smiled.

Lessons for Walking

Walking long distances is an art form. There are various things one can do to complete the walk, and make it fulfilling as possible.

1--Don’t stare at your final destination. Nothing can be more depressing then to see your objective in the distance. Each step doesn’t make it appear any closer—it simply seems to remain in the intangible distant. Your footsteps then seem to be a futile gesture in conquering your ultimate goal.

You should allow your eyes to wander. In this way, you’ll find a good place to take a rest, as well as absorb those things around you, as opposed to the goal in the distance. After all, what’s around us now affects us more then a lofty goal in the distance. Looking at your immediate surroundings allows you to appreciate what you currently have.

2—Take breaks. Walking isn't very tiring, and it can be easy to forget to stop and rest. Resting is important because it allows us time to enjoy those things that are immediately at hand. Walking can be a dull, plodding chore. Including breaks into a walk allows for time to dwell on the simple, insignificant things that might be found on the way. Often, these things prove to be the better part of the journey.

3—Keep up a dialogue with yourself, or with someone who is significant to you. We all walk alone on these kinds of journeys, but if we constantly allow our minds to wander where they will, it proves to be fuel for the soul. Some people may choose some kind of deity to focus upon; others may have arguments with lost friends or deceased parents. This will serve to keep your spirits up.

4—Look behind you. This may sound kind of foolish at first, but it isn't. Things don’t look the same backwards. If, by chance, you have to return by the same route, then you will have a basis for remembering what you will see on the way back. But most important, however, is that looking back allows one to sum up their progress by admiring the distance already traveled.

Truth, Incorporated

It must be very comforting to believe in a supreme being that is all powerful.

I’ve been attending an evangelical church (link updated 6/14/2004)over the past few weeks. At first, I was kind of annoyed with their over the top spreading of their personal love of God. They have a whole separate part of the service—not part of the typical order of worship—that focuses on offering praise to God.

At first, I thought of Andy Partridge--I once read had complained that he felt that God was insecure to be demanding us humans to constantly bestow Him with praise. Then I began to wonder: perhaps they are so eager to express their praise because they feel their hold on God to be a fragile one; they have to constantly remind themselves that they love God, lest they forget.

In contrast, the wife turned me on to some pretty good Christian techno. I can’t fully explain it—ok maybe I’ll offer a theory in a moment—but these all out Christian artists put together some damn good techno. The piece my wife bought was pretty good—and only had a few lyrics. That’s partly why it’s so good—it doesn’t clutter up the sound with words.

The initial piece has some spoken word from Revelations: “I am the alpha and the omega. The beginning and the end. I am what was, what is, and what is to be. The almighty.”
After jamming this tune a few times at high volume, I began to look upon the total idolization of God to be pure—similar to the state of nirvana offered to Buddhists.

And there goes my point: If we concentrate on the pure image of God as being this all powerful, all knowing deity, then our meditations on the nature of God can prove to be our own fuel for understanding Him. This understanding wouldn’t come from some words in a sermon, or perhaps the bible itself, but rather our own understanding from within.

To make my point another way: Douglas Adam’s series ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’ refers to this device that is used for torture. The point of this device is to illustrate one’s own insignificance in the universe. The intended victim would have to view the box, which would then show the extent of their own insignificance.

Think for a minute about your own insignificance in the face of the universe: How do you compare with such monuments of Jupiter and Saturn? Planets that have their own lives that will span billions of years—yet are still only a small piece of the universe. If you actually viewed this box of Adams’, then you would truly see yourself as a simple insignificant speck in the universe.

A person who properly believes in God would look into that box and see God. Their belief in God would shield them from the wave of insecurity that would come from the lack of significance. Someone who doesn’t believe in God would be overwhelmed by the vastness before them … if they didn’t already know it was there.

So I now get to my point: Why does Christian techno seem to be so good? Perhaps because they have this vision of God as a supreme being, and they simply try to express this in the language of random sound. If they have achieved this purity of vision, and then passed it on through their art, then I am a willing listener.

Ace is the Place

I was in line in the hardware store a few days ago. On the counter, as part of a point of purchase display, there were these small brass hammers in a plastic bin. The base of the hammers opened up to reveal a screwdriver. The base of the screwdriver opened to reveal a smaller screwdriver.

As the clerk was ringing up my purchases, a man with a child got in line behind me. The man looked to be about my age … maybe younger, and the child was about 4. Old enough to walk and talk, but still enamored with everything in site. His eyes and fingers found the display of hammer/screwdrivers. He picked one up.

“What’s this?” he asked the man that was obviously his father.

“A hammer.” Dad said.

“What’s it for?” Asked the child.

“I don’t know.” the man replied dismissively.

So pardon me for being a little direct, but what the fuck was that guy’s problem? Yes, having children ask about every little thing can be a royal pain, but it’s part of being a parent. Having an incredibly inquisitive kid of my own is terribly wearying—he asks about everything … and I do mean everything. My son’s 12, so he asks some pretty complicated questions. There are times when I am tired of answering them, and I tell him so.

But not ‘I don’t know.’ That kind of dismissive answer was showing the kid that his father didn’t really care about the nature of his child. He was obviously worn out by his experience in the hardware store, but chose to take a cop out for an answer, instead of telling the truth.